I currently have so many mixed emotions! I can say that 2022 was a nice year with a lot of great memories but it also came with many negatives and challenges that I look forward to turning the page on.
As many followers know, Alex and I have spent a lot of time pondering having more children. Well, on Christmas Day 2022 just a couple weeks ago, we found out Alex was pregnant! We were both completely overjoyed and more excited then we had been in a very long time. It was the best Christmas gift I could have ever dreamed of! Over the past few months we came to the realization that we really wanted more children. We always wanted more but pushed it off because of all the time and attention we needed to give Greyson. We realized that Greyson needed a sibling to grow up with and eventually have as a friendly face once Alex and I leave this world one day. So when we found out we saw everything lining up for us and the future of our family.
Well, unfortunately the joy was very short lived, as Alex started to become very sick over the next few days. Eventually, that lead to her losing the baby! This is now the 2nd miscarriage Alex has had. It feels a little easier then the last but it has still really rocked my world. Feeling the joys that come with expecting a new child, just to have it all wrapped away is really hard and honestly people do not talk about it enough. It is extremely common but until you go through it you really do not even realize how common it is. Now that it has happened you talk to people and find out how many people have gone through it and it was surprising. That tells me people do not open up and talk about it.
Alex and I have no problem talking about these things. I personally feel that talking about it is a great way to find support and part of the healing process. For the fathers, please do not hide your emotions if this happens to you and be supportive of your wife or the mother of your baby, because they must being going through so much with the hormonal changes and the physical pain that just exasperates the emotional pain. For me a day hasn’t gone by that I have not thought about the first baby we lost and I know a day won’t go by without thinking of this one either.
I know this is very hard but honestly, this could make or break our marriage. I think it is bringing us together, but I have heard many stories of it breaking marriages apart. If you ever go through this, I implore you to use it as an opportunity to turn towards your spouse and make you connection and relationship even stronger! If you already have children use it as a way to realize how special it is to be a part already and rededicate yourself to being the best parent you possibly can. Despite the sadness and disappointment we are excited and looking forward to the future of our family and whatever God has in store for us!