Alex and I always agreed that we wanted to have a large family and a few kids. It was something we had always spoke about while we were dating. Obviously, Greyson is 6 now and we still do not have any more children. We never imagined that Greyson would have had autism. So once that reality hit us we knew that we needed to rethink our future as a family and what it would look like. This obviously included having more children.
We debated this topic for many months, and eventually came to a consensus that we needed to hold off on having more children. We could come back and visit the topic in a year and see where we stood at that point. We realized that we needed to put everything we had into supporting Greyson for the time being. As many of you probably know, taking care of a child on the spectrum is a lot of work, and he needed all the support and attention we had to offer to set him up for success in the future.
That was a long time ago now and we have re-evaluated the situation a number of times and it still was not the right time for our family. It is a debated I have in my head all the time and I have gone back and fourth with it so many times. I am now at a place where I realize we are almost at the end of the road. We are getting older and I just turned 40 last month. So we need to make a decision really soon and we need to live with that decision for the rest of our lives, one way or the other. So I pray daily about it and hope for clarity. The feeling of not having more children kills my soul, but the idea of raising another child on the spectrum seems completely overwhelming t me.