A lot of people are probably wondering what we lost, what Grey lost or if we lost one of the dogs. This post is not about a tangible item we lost, but instead about something far more valuable and important. I have lost a lot of time with my family, and I miss it incredibly! I have been putting in 75 hours a week of work recently and when I am not working I have to take care of stuff around the house, take care of the dogs and of course continue to build Building The Puzzle. Alex is also working in the evenings most days. She is actually working as I write this and I miss her terribly.
I am missing Greyson more and more every day as well. For the first 2 months putting in 75 hours a week and working 7 days a week wasn’t to bad. The amount of work isn’t really that bad even now, but the fact that I feel that life is just passing me by is really hard. I feel that I am missing out on so much time I can never get back. Time with Alex, time with Grey and time as a family. I never wanted it to be this way but I guess it is something that happens sometimes in life.
I have been feeling really bothered by it lately and I just couldn’t shake how I have been feeling about it. So, I decided to share it with all of you. I know many others can probably relate to the feeling. I am just trying to stay positive, telling myself. “If it doesn’t kill me it will only make me stronger. This to shall pass. I do this now to enjoy a blessed future.” I will never let things like this completely overwhelm my life. I know I will get through it and find myself in a better place in my life. It has been making me realize what I really value and appreciate in life, and that might just be the exact purpose God put me in this place right now. There is always a reward that comes out of every challenge we face and I am trying to focus on the reward that will come out of this one.
I may not understand why I am where I am and why I feel what I feel right now in this very moment. However, one day years from now when I look back I will understand exactly why I went through this. It is amazing how the value of experiences do not always present themselves until way in the future. Or maybe it is all just hitting me because I am turning 40 in a couple weeks and I am having a mid life crisis. But whatever the reason is I will learn from all this and find the reward that comes with this challenge. –
