We have recently been dealing with some regressions. This regression is focused around Greyson’s challenging behaviors, in particular his meltdowns. It is a huge challenge for me as his father. It is really tough to see a regression and I know there are part of Autism Spectrum Disorder, but it is still difficult to deal with the emotions. You do so much work and it can feel like it was all for nothing.
Another part of it that has really affected me is that it has given me a feeling of helplessness. It feels as though I am failing as a father because I can’t help him with meltdowns all the time. My heart just breaks for him. All you want to do as a parent is support, help and protect your children. However, it is not always possible for parents to do that.
Despite the overwhelming emotions and desire to help him I do understand and accept that I can only do my very best and it is not 100% up to me. Unfortunately, Greyson needs to help make it happen too. I can only do my best to guide him.
The feeling of helplessness is a very strong and defeating emotion. So I constantly have a mental battle taking place in my head. My self talk is fighting with itself. Not knowing where that battle will go or where it will lead, creates anxiety, fear and confusion. I pray everyday that we get past this, and that I can make sense of the messages all these strong emotions are sending me so that I can learn, grow and become the best father possible. A father that Greyson needs and deserves!