I know I have spoken a lot about Greyson’s challenges and what we have been through as a family. We talked a lot about finding our mission and purpose in life. What I haven’t spoken about is my personal challenges during this period and what I have gone through as a man and father. I will start with when Greyson was first born.
This post will be its own challenge for me. I struggle mightily, with opening up and being vulnerable with Alex, let alone the world. But I am trying to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I made a pledge when I started this blog. I would be completely open and honest to share our story from my perspective and hold nothing back in order to empower our followers. My hope was to help others manage the challenges that come along with their unique journey.
To start, Alex’s pregnancy was great. She never felt better and I was super excited to become a father. It was always a major goal I had in my life. The joy and excitement was incredible for us as well as our family and friends. I had never experienced such an incredible amount of happiness, peace and joy.
The day Grey was born was a rollercoaster ride of every emotion. I was excited, then nervous, then scared, then excited again. Then when he was born the emotions overwhelmed me and I cried tears of pure joy as I looked at him for the first time.
What happened next was interesting to both me and Alex. I was suddenly struck with an incredible amount of anxiety, fear, worry and stress. It quickly turned into a depression. Later, I realized it all seemed from my fear of being a bad father, stressing about financially supporting our growing family and maintaining an incredible relationship with Alex. I was now responsible for another human being. This was the most challenging time in my life. Every day was a struggle and would I ever be able to handle it.